Troon Golf & Travel

CLIENT GOLF a "how-not-to" guide for your next business round

GEORGE FULLER By

If possible, never beat your client. The caveat here is that if your client is a particularly miserable golfer, actually losing to them might be bad business, too. In this circumstance, go ahead and beat them, but not too badly.

5) Congratulate and applaud your client’s good shots, but don’t look like you’re brown-nosing.

6) Win a hole or two so it doesn’t look like you’re purposely tanking the match.

2) Never take money from your client on the golf course, even if you’ve made the mistake of winning. Pay for drinks and lunch. And if you are fortunate enough to have lost all the bets, pay quickly. Remember: Fast pay makes fast friends.

7) Don’t drink too much and start flirting with the cart girl...or boy.

8) If you’re keeping the score, when asking what your client shot, always suggest par: “Three wasn’t it, Bobby?”

“someone must say
the word ‘business’
at least once
during the round,
just to satisfy irs
regulations when
trying to deduct
the day as a
business expense...”

1) Ioften hear people say, “I’m going to take up golf—there’s so much business done on
the golf course.”
I hate to be the one to break it to them,
but business is rarely done on a golf course.
Funny business, maybe. Serious discus-
sions about widget orders or leveraged
buyouts, no. It’s against the rules. Not the
Rules of Golf, as published by the united
States Golf Association or the Royal and
Ancient of St. Andrews, but…you know…the
unwritten rules.

There’s a lot of “client golf” played, to be sure. That’s a game in which you lose $20 or $30 to your client, buy him or her a couple beers over lunch and hope that the bonding experience you just shared translates into new or continuing business.

Someone must say the word “business” at least once during the round, just to satisfy IRS regulations when trying to deduct the day as a business expense, but that’s as far as it should go. Never, whatever you do, say, “So Bobby, what can I do to get that widget order this year?” particularly when Bobby is lining up his fourth putt for triple-bogey.

Aside from that one cardinal rule—Never Discuss Business on a Golf Course—there are a few other rules that need to be followed when playing client golf:

3) Take them to play someplace nice, but not too nice. You don’t want them to think you’re wasting money. After all, it’s THeIR money. (And if you’re the one driving to the course, don’t pick them up in a nicer car than the one they own.)

9) If you catch your client in a lie— “Yep, a three Bill.”—watch your back in business dealings. (See #4 above.)

4) Keep your demeanor civilized. Don’t swear, throw clubs or complain about drives 240 yards down the middle. Remember that saying, “eighteen holes of match or medal play will teach you more about your foe than will 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.”

10) On the 18th green, always shake hands and say, “Great match. I look forward to playing again sometime,” even if you have no intention of ever doing it again sometime, and the only reason you did in the first place was to curry favor and get that widget order.